Rain, Wind, Mud - Perfect

For their third friendly of the season, with the previous two both being close games, both sides arrived with fifteen players. The VIPs had a slight advantage as Steve had travelled as sub. As he also had a calf strain and was hobbling around before the game started, it was not that much of an advantage.

The first half saw The VIPs attacking down a considerable slope but into the wind and rain.

The driving wind and sleeting rain were never going to make for the most beautiful game of rugby but both The VIPs and Chobham Vs exceeded themselves in their inability to catch a ball.

The VIPs might be expected to have an advantage in the scrum as the VIP pack was vastly more experienced with two players in their sixties, four in their fifties and one in the late forties. Blatchey being the baby at thirty nine was a good five years younger than the next oldest, but even so there was nearly half a millennia of experience in The VIP pack.

As it was, the scrums were fairly even as were the lineouts. The scrums were even for the right reasons, two packs going at it. The lineouts were a shambles for both sides – the most common outcome being a scrum as the ball was not being thrown in straight or if it was thrown in straight, it was promptly knocked on.

Possibly it would have made more sense to ignore the lineouts altogether and go straight for the scrums but refs are refs etc.

The backs meanwhile were gainfully employed in dropping the ball to make sure the forwards were kept busy. Although to be fair, most seemed to have employed Tom’s strategy of standing around with hands in pockets, waiting for something to happen and hoping that shivering really did keep the muscles warm.

Meanwhile, the Chobham backs obviously had not read the script properly and managed to string a few passes together. This obviously took the VIP backs by surprise as on each occasion Chobham managed to score and went into the wet half time huddle 12 - 0 up.

In the second half, The VIPs were travelling up the slope but with the wind and rain behind them.

The conditions obviously suited the VIPS better as three tries were scored. Steffan, who had run strongly all game, scored under the posts to allow Aaron to convert.

Typically, the awkward forwards, that would be Blatchey both times, scored the other two tries out wide to make conversion very difficult.

One of the tries came from an uphill maul which pushed the Chobham defenders far enough over the line for Blatchey to run backwards a bit before grounding the ball. It may be he felt the need to run down the slope (but into the rain + wind) to score or maybe he was heading for the posts and thought better of it. Who knows? Such is the impetuosity of youth.

Towards the end of the second half, Jim managed to convince himself and Steve that Jim’s calf strain was more severe than Steve’s calf strain so they swopped places with Steve in the second row and Jim moping about wet on the touchline.

Virtually the last act of the game was a scrum five metres out from the VIP line, the effect of Steve and Terry locking out was merely to turn The VIP scrum, solid up front as ever, into a giant plough leaving furrows where boots were planted as the VIPs were pushed downhill over the line for the hosts to equalise.

The Chobham forwards had also thoughtfully scored in the corner to make the conversion as difficult as possible and when it was missed both teams retired to reflect on another tantalisingly close encounter - a rematch or three is definitely in the offering for next season methinks.

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NB I wasn't at the game so this is all second hand. I can't give my source away, except to say he spent most of the afternoon wet, injured and moping on the sidelines. This may explain his bitterness.